Alpha and Omega Circles
by The Ultimate Badass
Summary: Just a little fun with circles from That 70's Show in the Alpha and Omega universe. Features my OC Troy and is my comeback story. Rated T for suggestive material, language, and stoner comedy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: If you hadn't heard the news: I'm back! Hooray! I present to you circles that I had come up with in my retirement phase. In case you don't know what a circle is, watch one from 'That 70's Show.' Without further ado, here it is. P.S. These will feature my OC Troy, who is human.**

Troy: I never thought I'd get stoned with a bunch of wolves, man. Wait, I'm stoned with a bunch of wolves? Awesome.

Hutch: Believe it, bud. *Giggles*

Can-do: Have you ever looked at your paws, guys? I mean, REALLY looked at them?

Hutch: Right. No more for Can-do. He's toasted.

Winston: Toast? I want toast. I haven't had toast in the longest time.

Can-do: *still admiring his paws* I mean, that's so cool, man. No thumbs whatsoever.

Troy: I have thumbs. *gives them the two thumbs up*

Winston: Wow. Thumbs, man.

Hutch: We don't have thumbs.

Can-do: So anyways, I was walking and I saw Princess. Unbeknownst to her, I was staring at the rearview mirror, if you know what I mean.

Winston: Someone go make toast right now.

Hutch: Watch it, Can-do. I've been staring at her rearview mirror for much longer than you. What if we got in a fight over her? That would be awesome.

Troy: Do you guys know what women call guys who are lame in the sack? Just friends. *smirks* Just a little tip.

Winston: I WANT TOAST NOW!

Troy: Yeah, heard you the first time. I just had the most brilliant idea ever! We should record our conversations and then play them backwards, man. I bet that's how the writers of National Lampoon do it.

Hutch: Like what if Eve finds the tape, man? You know what happened to Johnny when he got caught.

Winston: Yep. Poor guy will never have pups now.

Troy: You mean he had stuff all this time and he never told us? The jackass. We could have covered his hide, man!

Can-do: How about we get Eve on this, guys? Show her just how fun this is.

Winston: *pretends to be offended* Can-do. That is the BEST IDEA EVER!

Troy: See, that's brilliant, man. I'm getting the tape recorder.

Hutch: Oh my God! Princess should clog dance for us too. It'd be hot! *Laughs his guts out*

Winston: Where's my toast, you idiots?!

**And that my friends is the end of the first chapter. Pretty funny huh? There'll be more coming your way. Right now it's the Ultimate Badass signing off. It's Humphrey the Omega-Alpha with a name change. Auf Wiedersehn.**


	2. Eve

**Two chapters in less than 12 hours. Who knew? This one will feature Eve. I can see reviews and views are a little slow but hopefully this should get them going through the roof hopefully. **

Troy walked back to the head Alpha den with some berries in his hand. These weren't ordinary berries though, oh no sir. They were spiked berries. He and the other guys were planning to get Eve to join them at 'a mile high.'

Feigning disappointment over a failed hunt, he walked into the den to see the Alpha female sitting around and doing nothing. She didn't know he was there.

"Eve." He said to get her attention.

Eve noticed the large human walking into the den.

"What is it?" She asked. "Did the Alphas bring back the hunt?"

Troy looked down at his feet, feigning disappointment.

"We had a failed hunt." He said sadly.

Troy held out his hand, showing the berries.

"These were a last resort. I sweetened them." He bit his tongue, trying to suppress a giggle.

"ANOTHER failed hunt?" She screamed. "We need to train our Alphas better. Anyway, thank you for bringing something at least halfway edible."

Eve was tired from her daily work as an Alpha to yell or use threats and bent down and started chowing away.

"You're welcome."

Troy walked out of the den and then turned a corner where Winston, Hutch, and Can-do were waiting.

"Did she suspect anything?" Winston choked out as Hutch and Can-do giggled behind him.

"She didn't suspect a thing." Troy giggled as well.

"When will we know she's lit?" Hutch asked.

"We'll know."

All of a sudden, a gigantic burst of laughter came out of the den. The guys laughed, realizing what just happened.

Troy walked into the den to see the results of their plan. It had worked to perfection. Eve was laughing her head off and saying random nonsense.

"Why am I so serious? Serious. Seer-ee-ous." She then exploded into laughter once more.

"Hey Eve." Troy greeted.

"Well what do you know? It's Uncle Cousin Troy." She laughed.

"Those were some good berries. I love you." She then started fondling his ear with her paws.

Hutch, Winston, and Can-do then walked in.

"Ok. She's about fried." Hutch noticed.

Eve heard him.

"Who's there? I'll beat you down and then start to tickle you." She laughed.

"Yep. She is fried." Winston agreed.

The group of males then got 'a mile high.'

—-

Winston: I'm glad I'm retired from head Alpha duties. It allows me to enjoy life more.

Eve: *laughs like a maniac* You said 'doodies.'

Troy: True that, brother. Gives you more time to catch all those tails you couldn't catch before. Hey, did you guys here about this car that runs on water? It has this fiber-glass coolant inside and the thing runs on water, man!

Hutch: Hey, I heard about this solar powered thing that humans drive.

Troy: What does it do?

Hutch: I don't know but it sounds cool, man!

Can-do: You know, I'd rather trick Eve into consuming spiked berries.

*Everyone laughs.*

Troy: Spiked berries, that's a good one.

Eve: You mean there were spikes in the berries? I hope my mouth doesn't become all prickly.

Hutch: I liked that word: spiked. It kinda pops, man. Spiked. Spppikkked. Ssssssssppppppppiiiiiiikkkkkkkeeeeeddd. *notices his nose.* I can see my nose.

Eve: You know, Troy is extremely cute, for a human that is.

Winston: Yeah. I think he's pretty cute too.

Troy: *gives him this weirded out look* So does that mean you're...

Hutch: I think it does, man. Wait till everyone hears about this!

Eve: Hutch, I'll 'do' you if you keep this quiet. *laughs maniacally.*

Later

"I'm going to skin you alive, Troy!" Eve yelled as she gave chase to the guys.

"How dare you force me to eat spiked berries, you immature little child!"

Troy laughed as he and the guys ran for their lives. Who else could they get next?

**A/N: To be continued. Hope this jumps up views and reviews. I love being back and writing for you guys. If you have any suggestions, PM me or leave a review. RxR because The Ultimate Badass is here to stay. **


	3. TonyGarth

**A/N: Hey guys. I'm back with a new one once again. Hope you guys are having a laughing good time reading this. This one is with Tony and Garth. Without further adieu, here we go. **

"Oh come on, guys. I don't wanna do it. Tony hates my guts."

"But Troy, you're the best at it."

In case you haven't figured it out, Troy and the gang are back on the prowl. Their new intended victim was Tony. Troy was trying to have somebody else give a piece of meat that was filled with shrooms but had some blood smeared over it to hide the scent of the shrooms.

"Hey Winston. Why don't you do it?" Troy asked, knowing that Tony would least suspect something if Winston did it, since they were the best of buddies.

Winston looked a little unsure until Troy gave his best begging face.

"I don't know." Winston said unsurely.

"Please," Troy begged. "You two are much closer than he and I are. He won't suspect anything if you do it."

Winston finally caved.

"Alright fine," he said finally. "But you owe me big time if this goes right."

"Sweet!"

And so the quadruped walked towards the Eastern territory, trying to seem normal. They didn't want to raise any suspicion that there was something going on.

Once they reached Tony's den, they heard arguing. It sounded like Garth and Tony arguing over something that was personal between them.

"Well maybe Lilly and I don't want to live in a den, Dad!"

That seemed to be Garth, once again adamantly explaining to his father that he and Lilly maybe didn't want their own den.

"It's not conventional for two wolves to live in tall grass, Garth!" Tony shot back.

Winston walked in thinking, '_Here goes nothing.' _

_"_Hey Tony." He called into the den, hearing the argument stopping in an instant.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Garth and his equally embarrassed father looked at Winston sheepishly.

"No, Winston. Garth and I were just having a nice discussion here." Tony put on a cheeky smile.

"Well we managed to bring back the hunt. I personally wanted to bring you a piece, even though Eve insisted I wait for you." It was Winston's turn to put on a cheeky smile.

"Oh. Well how thoughtful of you." Tony smiled in gratitude. He went for the meat while Winston went over to Garth, much to the younger Alpha's surprise.

"If he offers you some, say you're not the least bit hungry," whispered Winston.

Garth was confused at Winston's words. He was a little famished as well.

"Ok," replied Garth quietly.

Winston then left the den, waiting for the spark to be lit.

"Oh boy. I am so hungry I can eat a grizzly, eh Garth?" Tony chuckled, referring to when Garth and Humphrey tried to distract the Rogues so Kate could grab Runt.

Garth forced a laugh to seem like nothing was wrong.

"You want some?"

"Uh, no thanks, Dad. I'm not too hungry." Garth lied.

"Ok. Suit yourself." Tony then started tearing into the meat with his weary, but still deadly sharp, canines.

"So yeah," continued Tony, still going on about their previous conversation. "It's not conventional for a cou..."

Tony started to choke on a piece. He rushed for some water, which luckily was in his cave. He heartily drank it down, hoping to get the piece down. He did.

"That was a pretty stale part." He said.

Meanwhile outside, the group was waiting for a sign that they were ready to go.

"How do we know when he's lit?" Hutch asked impatiently.

"It all depends on tolerance, man." Troy answered.

Suddenly a laugh that could be heard all the way to Edmonton burst out of the den.

"He is so fucking lit." Troy chuckled.

The quadruped walked in to see Tony just laughing up a storm as wide as Kansas.

"You know what, Garth? Forget what I just said. Living in the grass is super fun," howled Tony. "Whoever invented caves is a fucking moron!"

Garth noticed the group.

"What did you guys do to him?" He asked, shocked.

"Shrooms, buddy boy," answered Troy with a dirty smirk on his face.

Hutch: You should really go to church, Troy. Because God, he sees everything. That's why I live my life like an angel. *Presses his paws together in prayer formation*

Troy: Hutch, you were dating two females at the same time. Isn't that blasphemy?

Hutch: Yeah, but God didn't see that. I was in my den and he can't see through rock.

Garth: You mean God can see through rock? What if he can see through me right now? *covers himself as though he were naked*

Winston: God is dead, man. It said so in Time magazine.

Tony: *hanging right over Winston's shoulder* No, man. I sat next to God once on the hill. He told me the meaning of live and then he gave me some berries.

Can-do: So what's the meaning of life, man?

Tony: Yeah. I guess I should have remembered it. The berries were good, though, man.

Garth: Maybe this life doesn't matter, you know? Like what if we're not even here. No I'm here, but you're not. *Gets queasy* Hello?

Can-do: *trips out. Laughing his guts out* Do you know what the best thing God ever did was? Boobs!

Troy: Yes. And God said 'Let there be boobs.' And then there were boobs.

Hutch: You know, Princess has the biggest boobs I've ever seen in my life.

Garth: She doesn't have any, she's a wolf. What do you think her bra size would be if she did? Bigger than Lilly's maybe.

Troy: I don't know. Maybe a 38 double d? Those are the biggest boobs ever, man.

Can-do: I don't know about that. Kate would probably be a 42 triple d. *turns disgruntled* And Humphrey gets those all to himself. The bastard!

Winston: Hey. If God is so all powerful, do you think maybe he can make a boob that even he can't lift.

Tony: That's a good question, man. I'll have to ask him next time I'm on the hill.

**A/N: And cut. I think this might be the best one so far. Hope this creates more gut-busting laughs. PM me or leave a review requesting who you want me to do next. RxR you know. Good night, everybody.**


	4. Princess

**A/N: Another day, another chapter, guys. I have decided to go with Princess in this chapter. Expect some Yakko and Wakko stuff with Hutch and Can-do, who in this story have huge crushes on Princess. On with the chapter!**

It was yet another beautiful day in Jasper. Troy and the gang were right back to their usual tricks, looking for someone to join them at 'a mile high.' Their new intended victim was Princess, whom Hutch and Can-do had a major crush on at the moment.

"Don't be all Yakko and Wakko with her, guys," advised Troy to Hutch and Can-do. "We don't want to drive her away before we can do this.

"What are you talking about?" Hutch asked.

"Right. You don't know about Animaniacs," Troy commented. "Just don't do anything weird, ok?

"Got it."

And so the quadruped walked to where Princess was staying for the while. Ever since the incident with the Rogues, she decided she had had enough of her father's schemes and asked if she could become part of the pack.

Troy had a piece of meat that he stuffed some pot in and smeared blood over the meat to cover the scent.

They soon arrived at Princess's temporary den. Hutch and Can-do were noticeably sweating and jittery. Troy felt for the guys. He knew what it was like to have a major crush on someone.

"Hey Princess. Are you there?" Troy called into the den.

Princess then emerged. Her brown fur glistening in the sun.

"Hi, boys." She greeted.

Hutch and Can-do then lost it: Hutch's eyes bulged out of his skull with a car horn sound effect and then fainted. Can-do started pulling his tongue out until it was long enough to wrap around his whole body. He then pulled it off so he was sent spinning until he hit the ground on his head and fell beside Hutch.

"HELLLLLOOOOOOOO NURSE!" They chorused.

Troy and Winston just shook their heads and chuckled at the two. He knew it was going to happen.

"Sorry about that, Princess," apologized Troy. "They can't help themselves sometimes."

"It's fine," She said.

Troy then looked at the meat.

"We, uh, brought you some meat from this morning's hunt. We just wanted to spare you the trouble of going and getting it yourself." He explained.

"Well thank you," she thanked. "It's nice to know there are some males who care about courtesy."

Princess then started tearing into the meat while Troy handed out three joints and kept his for himself, waiting for the right moment.

Surely enough, Princess started giggling for no apparent reason, signaling she was baked. Troy and the boys then joined her at 'a mile high.'

—

Troy: So yeah, Mötley Crüe is breaking up. So sad to hear about that. I guess they just couldn't handle the heat, man.

Princess: *laughs maniacally* I just totally forgot what I was just laughing about. Isn't that funny? *resumes laughing*

Winston: Ok, no more for the hottie here. She's completely wasted.

Hutch: Princess, there's something different about you. I can't put my paw on it but it must have something to do with either your fur, your looks, your red, puffy eyes. I don't know.

Can-do: Hey. I noticed it first before you. It's how her butt moves.

Troy: So there's this car that runs on water. It's got a fiber-glass coolant inside and it runs on water, man!

Winston: Isn't it a boat?

Troy: No. It's a car. A car that runs on water instead of gas. *chuckles*

Princess: Oh so you boys have been staring at my butt? On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the most hideous, where does my butt rank?

Hutch: *Too busy staring at her tail swish, hoping to catch some eye candy.*

Can-do: You're a 20 in my book, Princess. *drools*

Troy: I think you guys have had enough. It isn't right to stare at a girl's butt...except if she's incredibly hot.

Winston: Where's my piece of tail?

—

"So are you guys coming?" Troy asked as he and Winston walked out of Princess's den. Hutch and Can-do we're still hanging out in there.

"Later. Right now we've got 'business' to get to." Hutch raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Troy knew what he was talking about and decided he and Winston should get out quickly before things got nasty.

"Come on, Winston. Let's get out of here. Quickly." He said urgently and he and Winston broke into a small sprint to get away before they could hear all of the sounds associated with such an act.

**A/N: Sorry if it wasn't that good but I did the best I could. You guys get the picture to what just happened. That's it from me for right now. Please review! *smooch* Good night everybody**


	5. Kate Lilly

**A/N: Sorry for being a little late for my update. Trying to figure out how to do this one. It will be with Kate and Lilly this time. The guys will get caught this time around, just like in the episode of That 70's Show. This will be the last one. I have to say this was one heck of a comeback story. Now, on with the show. **

Troy and the gang were at it again. This time their new victims are Kate and Lilly.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Winston's voice rang out so loud that birds flew off of tree branches in fear.

"Yes, but we must do it." Troy said flatly.

"Yeah, Winston. Come on." Hutch and Can-do agreed.

Winston didn't like this idea. Not one bit. Yes, it was fun whenever they would do it with someone else but with his own daughters? No way.

"I'm not doing this."

"Oh come on, Winston," Troy begged. "It just won't be the same without you."

Winston knew Troy was playing the guilt trick to get him to come.

"Troy, I know what you're doing. And it's not going to work."

"Well so what? You're our friend."

Winston breathed deeply. It may not have been right but he was old and having fun didn't last very long.

"Alright, fine." He gave in. "But if any dirty talk about my daughters gets out of hand, I'll make damn sure you two can never bed Princess again."

He was looking at Hutch and Can-do when he said that.

"Alright. Now that that's out of the way, let's get going." Troy triumphantly said as they went to where Kate and Humphrey lived. They gathered intelligence that Lilly would be there as well.

Once they got there, they saw that their prediction was right: Lilly was there too. Oh, this was going to be too good!

Humphrey and the pups were also around. Stinky, Claudette, and Runt were now grown up. Boy, how time flies.

"Hi, guys." Troy greeted as he and the boys walked in.

"Hi, Troy." Kate greeted.

"Hi, Uncle Troy." The pups resonated as well in perfect unison.

"Uh, Kate, Lilly, can we talk to you two for a minute?" Winston asked nervously.

"Alone." He further clarified.

Lilly and Kate didn't get where their father was going but decided that it was just a simple thing that needed to be talked about.

"Ok." They both said.

Kate turned to Humphrey.

"Can you watch over the pups for a little while? My dad just wants to talk." She explained.

"Ok." He smiled before giving her cheek an affectionate lick.

"Don't be too long."

The females then followed the four males to Troy's current home: a cabin he built himself.

"So what did you guys want to talk about?" Kate asked. Now she was getting a little apprehensive as why they went to Troy's place to talk.

"Oh nothing much. Just wanting you to try some of this!" Troy shoved two lit joints into their mouths and then pulled them back out almost immediately.

Sure enough, the effects started showing and Kate and Lilly were laughing for no apparent reason.

"Is this a prison?" Lilly asked, looking around Troy's place. "I swear! I didn't do it!"

Soon the four boys joined them at 'a mile high.'

—

Troy: *looks at his watch.* Oh man. The Moonlight Howl will be starting soon. So that means we've got all night together! *laughs*

Kate: *giggles* Yeah. Who needs a Moonlight Howl to find love? We all can make our own choice on who we love. Howling is just a waste of time. Humphrey and I just get down to business, if you know what I mean. We've got three pups to prove that.

Hutch: Yeah. And the best part is there is such thing as love at first sight. Hey Kate, I love you.

Can-do: No. I loved her long before you loved her.

Hutch: Yeah well at least I'm not short. She doesn't want a shortie for a lover. She wants a man like me. *Pretends to be fixing a tie*

Lilly: Did you just call him short? He's ten feet tall by my count. Then again, everything seems to be ten feet tall at the moment.

Troy: Ah crap. Tomorrow's my last day before I leave home. So I might have rabies. Big deal. I could trick people into thinking it's whipped cream and then bite them.

Winston: Yep. This may be our last circle for a while. Who better to spend it with than my smoking hot daughters.

*Hutch and Can-do are going at it after Hutch's 'short' comments.*

Troy: Look at that. Best friends helping each other. We always have to remember this moment.

*Eve shows up behind him. Everyone else looks at her in fear. Troy doesn't know what's up*

Troy: What?

Eve: Outside! NOW!

*She walks out*

Troy: We are in huge...trouble. *Laughs*

—

Eve was more furious than she had ever been in her life. She couldn't believe that the boys were running around getting wolves high all the time.

"I cannot believe that that is what you idiots have been doing all this time." She screamed.

Troy stared at her blankly. The whole world was spinning at the moment.

"I wish I had 20,000 paws! So I can stick five hundred of them up each of your asses! And now you've dragged Kate and Lilly into this too."

Winston got a fish eye view of her, reaching out as if she was right there in front of him.

"Who taught you how to do this? Was it you, Troy?" Eve turned to look at Troy.

Troy did not answer.

Hutch stared at Kate's behind, stoned out of his mind. Can-do was laughing his head off at nothing.

"Can-do, wipe that stupid look off your dope-fiend face!"

Can-do laughed even more when, in his mind and stoned hallucinations, Eve's head switched bodies with Kate's.

"Are you kidding, mom? They're guys. They don't know any better." Kate tried to stick up for them.

"Well this is the worst thing that you have ever done. Troy, I'm going to..." She stopped when she could't think of anything to do to him.

"You're going to...Well I can't think of anything worse then sending you back to Orlando. You're going to Orlando." She then walked off.

**A/N: Well that's it. It's been awesome being back here. I missed you guys. Tell me which chapter was your favorite and why in reviews. I might include circles in my future stories so be on the lookout for them. Hutch and Can-do were my favorite to write. TTFN. Ta-Ta for now. **


End file.
